The Alphabet of Sexual Orientation
- Hannah Costello
- Apr 16, 2020
- 5 min read
It can be very confusing. The different types of identity within the LGBTQ+ community. Of course we have sexual identity but we also have gender identity. There is a lot of information within the two topics... like a lot, a lot... so much so that I will be splitting them into two different posts. First, let's try and understand the differences between sexual orientations because with understanding comes acceptance. That is the ultimate goal.
Now, there are many different terms for the same orientation so I will be trying to define and mention as many as I can. As there are certain labels that are most commonly used I will include those primarily but all labels are of equal importance.
Let's begin with that sexy 'L' we see at the front of LGBTQ+ community. This stands for, as many may know, Lesbian. Lesbian, by definition, is a woman or someone who identifies as a female that is romantically and sexually attracted to people of the same gender. Like good old Ellen and Portia for example.
If we move on to the 'G' that stands for... you guessed it! Gay. This means, typically, a man or someone who identifies as a male that is romantically and sexually attracted to people of the same gender. However, this label is not always linked specifically to males. I, myself, prefer this word and use it to express my orientation. If we look at it in this way, it could just be defined as someone, of any gender, that is attracted to someone of the same gender as themselves.
Next up is the beautiful 'B'. Bisexual. This is when someone is romantically and sexually attracted to the two typical genders, male and female. Even if a bisexual person, that is female, chooses to be with another female they would still identify as bisexual because they will still be attracted to male individuals. Like appreciating both tacos and hotdogs but then deciding to only eat one taco forever yet still understanding that hotdogs are real nice.
Yum!
We are going to skip the 'T' in the title of the community as that is for gender (which I will post about next), so it's time for the queen 'Q'! This could be either 'questioning' or Queer. I am going to say it is queer as this label is used commonly throughout the community. Queer is a term with a lot of meaning and is an umbrella label to describe someone that is anything but heterosexual. This isn't dependant on gender or sex and could mean lesbian, gay, bi and other individuals that don't necessarily fit into a category. The word 'queer' historically has negativity attached to it but the community have taken possession of this term and have given it positivity for demonstrating their community. This word should however still be respected due to the sensitivity of it's past use. Maybe this is the most rainbow word of them all?!
Okay so, we have covered the letters you probably already knew but what does the '+' stand for? The very mysterious '+' sign involves a lot more letters to the extent that I couldn't name them all. It is all subjective after all and whichever label you choose, is yours. Here are some you may come across or choose to learn more about:
Pansexual. This means an individual is romantically and sexually attracted to anyone without regard for gender, sex or sexual orientation. None of that matters to people who identify as this as they simply love the person and personality. Miley Cyrus identifies in this way. How cool!
Omnisexual is very similar to pansexual as an individual is romantically and sexually attracted to any gender, sex and sexual orientation except they do take gender, sex and sexual orientation into account. It is simply just not limited to any gender or sexual identity.
Polysexual is the umbrella that queer, bi, pan and omnisexual comes under. It is for people within a sexual orientation that have attraction to more than one gender, because why not?
Asexual. This is an identity that has a lot of other terms enveloped within it and can be hard to define. Asexuality, alone, means someone who does not have sexual attraction to any gender. However, they can still have emotional connection to a specific gender, for example asexual with emotional attraction to females. They may still want an emotional relationship just without the sexual component. Within asexuality, as mentioned, there are various other terms within it's own spectrum. First, is cupiosexual. This means someone who is asexual and doesn't experience any sexual attraction but would still want to participate in sexual acts. Then there is demisexual. This describes someone who is on the spectrum of asexuality but would gain sexual attraction only after an emotional attachment has been made. On the other hand, you have the term libidoist which is someone who is asexual and has sexual feelings but is only satisfied through self-stimulation. Opposite to this is, surprisingly, non-libidoist, simply expressing the identity of someone who is asexual with no sexual feelings and no sex-drive. Next, sex-averse asexuals show themselves as very disinterested with sex, sex-favourable asexuals can have favourable feelings towards sex and lastly, sex-indifferent asexuals are, as the name suggests, just neutral about sexual behaviour. That was a lot and I may have missed some out accidentally but sexuality is a spectrum for all and it is there to make everyone feel comfortable with their label. Asexuality is no different.
In opposition to asexuality is allosexual. It is someone who does experience sexual attraction and the term often helps individuals understand asexuality more.
Biromantic. This is someone that has a romantic attraction, not sexual attraction, to more than one gender. They may have sexual attraction to one gender but see other genders in a romantic way.
Spectrasexual refers to the spectrum of gender, sex and sexualities and someone being attracted to multiple identities within that but not necessarily all of them.
Skoliosexual means an individual that is attracted to those people who are not cisgender (when your gender matches the sex you were born). An example would be, transgender, gender fluid or non-binary.
It was quoted earlier, 'questioning' is pretty straight forward in it's definition. It is someone who is questioning their sexual orientation and hasn't quite figured out what would be best for them yet, which is perfectly okay.
Autosexuality is for those lovely people who are sexually attracted to themselves. Honestly, you do you.
We must obviously talk about the most dominated sexual orientation of course. Heterosexual! This means you are sexually and romantically attracted to people of the opposite gender to yourself. Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy. Yes this is accepted within the LGBTQ+ community. We won't exclude you.
Irregardless of all labels above, you may not choose to stick to any of them and identify as sexually fluid. This means your sexual attraction, sexual behaviour and sexuality can change over time and in certain situations.
Or, you could just be chilling and be pomosexual. You reject all labels the english language is trying to put upon you and you can't find identity with any of them. This one is for you.
Don't worry! That's all, you made it! *applause*
Each label I have spoken about carries equal validity. Each of them are real and deserve to be expressed. Sexuality can be really confusion for everyone and I hope you have more of an insight into the availability of terms you could use or how people around you identify.
It is ultimately up to you which label best describes you or even if you want to use multiple. I use at least 3 in that list. You could even just stick with the umbrella terms and not need to explain further. It is up to you.
I love all of your sexual identities.
Give out respect and understanding of them all.
If I have missed any sexual identity out or wrongly defined please let me know and I will edit this accordingly. I tried my best.
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