Everyone that identifies with the LGBTQ+ community, at some point in their lives, is faced with the reality of coming out. It may not be the big reveal to family, it may just be friends, it could be to strangers and it could also be to coworkers/employers/employees at work. So let's talk about work and that reality...
The reality of being LGBTQ+ right now is coming out in some way all the time, not just once or twice, but to every new person you meet when personal lives get brought into the conversation. Although it is 2021, and we are at at time when authenticity of our true selves is celebrated more than ever, everyone's response to the LGBTQ+ can be different... both good and bad. The knowledge that it could go badly is always somewhere in our minds, I mean I can only speak on behalf of myself and people I've spoken to, this may not be the same for everyone.
From my experience, I always have fear when I begin a new job because at some point, as the relationship grows with my coworkers we begin to talk more personally and I never know what views they hold. My fear doesn't come from being ashamed but it comes from 'what if this makes the environment awkward?' or 'what if I say this and they outwardly project their intolerance?' My past of being outed and disregarded by friends has built walls around me that still effect how I anticipate people's reactions. I even remember a time at work when we were all talking about adding each other of Facebook. I avoided the subject until I got home and checked my account to see if there were any pictures of me kissing my partner and if I needed to change anything. I have grown from this moment, of course, but there is still some trepidation.
This isn't just my experience, over 50% of people within the LGBTQ+ community hide their sexuality or gender identity to avoid the chance of any hate. In America, until June 2020 when a law was passed under the Civil Rights Act of 1964 it was legal to discriminate someone based on their gender identity and sexual orientation. You could literally be fired or treated differently due to being LGBTQ+... However, even in the UK, if an employer dislikes you due to your identity they can still treat you differently or get rid of you and blame it on other reasons, it might not happen but it's always a possibility. Yet again, would you want to work for someone like that anyway?
How can we overcome this as members of the LGBTQ+ community? Keep being yourself and yes, it may get scary sometimes but the way forward is not being apologetic for the way you are, especially when it is something so beautiful. It is okay not to mention your identity at work when you don't feel like you can and somewhat 'hiding' because sometimes it isn't possible to express how you'd like to. It doesn't show cowardice or anything like that, it shows there is still progress to be made within society so that you can comfortably be yourself. You're doing amazing, don't doubt that.
For those workplaces and employers looking to make a change for people within the LGBTQ+ community, being loud and proud about your alliance could make all the difference. I once worked somewhere and a pride display was the first thing you could see as you walked through the doors. I new instantly it was going to be okay there. Have Pride months, have talks about it, approach people in the LGBTQ+ community and ask questions that ensure to that person they are safe where they are. This could create a huge change for someone that is struggling.
Above all else, remember to be kind no matter who you are. No matter the conversation, no matter who it's with, think about your responses to certain situations and think about what you are personally ready for in terms of sharing your life with people around you. Your story is yours and you make the right choices for you.
One day at a time. Be brave.
Rainbow Talk
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