What can you do as a parent for your rainbow child?

When we think about the LGBTQ+ community it is often through the eyes of the individual, it is for me anyway, but what if we changed focus. We aren't the only people going through this after all. What about the parents (or parental figures)? What should they do? What can they do? When would be best to do it? Hmm let's discuss, shall we?

Finding out you are part of the LGBTQ+ community can be very difficult and can be traumatic in some cases. Through experience and counselling it is a prominent idea that this is because we have grown up thinking the societal norms of heteronormativity (this can be applied to gender and other identities in the community too).

When I was a young, confused child I imagined what my husband would look like, what my wedding day would be like and how my future around that may appear. I can tell you now, at 7 years old I did not expect another bride to be standing with me taking our vows. I didn't really get brought up knowing that was an option. So, when the time came to rethink my whole vision of the future it was scary and uncomfortable and strange. What's going to happen? Can this happen? I didn't want it because I had imagined a complete straight version of myself and how I thought it was supposed to be. After 7 years I was told I had to grieve my straight self and let that go. This was life changing.

Let's relate that to parents. As soon as their baby is born they imagine their lives. Due to, potentially, the lack of progression a few decades ago it is probable their projections did not include the LGBTQ+ side of their children. Then they watched their child grow and one day they get told their child has a different view of how their life will end up. It can be a lot to deal with. They also have to grieve their perception they had. Which is understandable. Right? It took me 7 years to deal with who I was truly so we can only expect the ones who should love you the most to need some time too. Hopefully not 7 years though...

At the end of the day though, parents everywhere I am talking to you, what can you do?

Answer: Love your children no matter what. That's all we want.

Take time to breathe. Take time for yourself. Wish for happiness of your child. Then tell them you love them. Maybe go to a... pride event? Too soon? No? Cool!

If you are a parent who didn't even blink an eye and made your child a rainbow cake with a unicorn shooting out of the top. Amazing! I want some! Also, why are you here? You got it.

If you are a parent who hasn't spoken to your child in 5 years because they figured out their gender doesn't fit their soul. Your child might miss you. Family is everything and maybe they need you as much as you need them. Do some research. Build a bridge. One step at a time. Coffee?

If you are a parent who suspects their child may identify with some part of the LGBQT+ community. Don't force them to tell you. It's their journey. But maybe you could open a dialog telling them you support the community and you will support them no matter what. Watch some LGBTQ+ movies and casually hang a rainbow in your house.