What if I don't have support?
- Hannah Costello
- Apr 13, 2020
- 4 min read
No matter what situation it is, whether that's being LGBTQ+ or something else, it is often a necessity to feel supported and safe. To know there are people to catch you and hold you up when you can't anymore. What if you don't have that support? Many people could feel like they are doing this alone. I'm here to tell you, you aren't and you can find support somewhere.
Being alone, or simply feeling alone, can be a terrifying concept for some people. Especially when going through a huge process regarding identity. It may be that you are at the beginning of this journey and can't see support around you or you have already began the journey and the people that should usually support you have chosen not to. Both scenarios could happen to people within the LGBTQ+ community.
If you aren't ready to communicate with people about your identity, it's might not so much that you don't have those people to support you but you aren't ready to receive that support, which is okay. Coming out is a huge process which begins with self acceptance. This self acceptance aspect could take a huge amount of time, for myself it was a 7 year ordeal. How can you ask for support if you aren't ready to come out? The phrase 'you're not alone' may just become empty words to someone that feels entirely alone... So where can you find your people?
If you have gone through the courageous task of coming out but it didn't go too well and you ended up losing the people you really needed to be there for you, it may seem as if you have no other alternate to getting some support. You have gone through potentially one of the hardest milestones in accepting yourself but then you notice the people you love don't feel as you had hoped. I apologise profusely for the behaviour of homophobes everywhere. My heart goes out to you but I am so proud of you. Where can you find your people?
1. Helplines- I thought I'd discuss this option first as it is often the one people feel most comfortable with going to. It is an anonymous way to speak to people, both over the phone or now online, with people just like me and you or even qualified professionals. Whether it is for a small chat or a continuous conversation over a long period of time, people working in helplines are there foe you openly and free of judgment.
2. Social Media Fandoms- This is an option which is greatly used within the current modern-day technology era. If this is a fandom of a same-sex couple within a particular tv show, for example, the people you may find within fan accounts and groups will most likely feel the same way as you. It is likely that there are really nice people ready to share their support with you. Even if you don't need support it could be good way to make new friends.
3. Chosen Family- The family people end up with is not always the family they were given at birth. It's the people you choose to be your family, friends for example. If you look around, is there anyone at all you could choose to be this for you? Even one person is better than no one. If not, could you meet new people? Start fresh and create this atmosphere for yourself. That could be through school, clubs, jobs or again online.
4. Support Groups- If you simply google for support groups near you, some specifically LGBTQ+, you should be able to find some. These groups have people who are in exactly the same situation as yourself and would appreciate nothing but support from you for support in return.
5. Counselling- If you feel like you really can't do any of the options above then asking for help from professionals may be a good idea. You can pay for those or potentially get this help for free. It may be that you have been though something particularly difficult and this could help you anyway. There is no shame in this. I have resorted to this and it changed my life.
6. I am here for you- I am always available to help anyone that needs it. Even if it's just to take the next step towards your happiness or you would like to vent to me with a simple chat. I am someone saying please to talk to me. I accept you and I am here.
You may not have support, you may not want support but you may need support. It is hard to keep things to yourself sometimes and it's okay to admit that.
You might even have other options than the ones I have presented. Let me now if you do!
You really aren't alone. There are people here for you.
We accept you.
If you need more information about anything in this post don't hesitate to ask.
Email: HannahJCostello@hotmail.com
Brilliant. xxx